I wanted to write about something that has been weighing heavily on me lately. I tear up every time I think about it and I need to just face it! My little girl will be starting school in August. I am crying now as I write this. I knew this would be a very hard time for me, but I had no idea how hard it would actually hit me. I find that I keep trying to put it in the back of my mind and not think about it. But since I have done that it's only coming even faster! I would love to home-school her and keep her with me forever. Paul and I have prayed a lot about it and know that she is supposed to be in public school. For her and my sanity! I just feel like she is so young, I can't bear the thought of leaving her there. I'm having a hard time believing that this is the right age for kids to start school. I wish I just had a couple more years with her. She is actually starting Transitional Kindergarten so I even tried to keep her home with me one more year and then start Kinder the year after, but our Father in Heaven has different plans for her. I feel so blessed that she has the opportunity to attend an amazing school and she will have a great teacher. (Her teacher is the mom of one of my old High School friends.) I love the school, I love her teacher, but I still don't want her to leave me. I have to stay really strong because I don't want her to have any negative feelings towards school. I want it to be a very positive experience for her and I know she's going to just love it! She has no idea what she's in for :) She knows that I am going to miss her and she keeps telling me not to worry, that she'll come home every day. Keeping this bottled up inside is making it even more difficult for me, but I have to not let her know that I'm falling apart inside.
Anyways, I have always hated summer. It's just too plain hot! I hate sweating and I hate sunscreen. I love the cold. I love the crisp fall air and the storms over winter. (Something I desperately missed this year!) I found myself today finally realizing some of the really amazing things about summer. Playing outside all morning and never getting cold! Laying out in the sun to warm up after a swim. All of the yummy fruit is finally in season!! Planting a garden, longer days, and the summer light at sunrise is breathtaking. It will now be my favorite season and I'll have my little girl with me.
The girls are finally getting along better, just in time for me to send Kitana away. I know it will be good for Zara and I to have some one-on-one time, but I already miss my little Kitana immensely!
(all of the pictures below were from my cell phone this morning...watching them play just made me miss her even more! Aren't they so cute together?!)
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